The Dad that wasn't ...........

It appears that my step dad and the cunt he is married to is in town..... For what I'm not sure and not sure I wanna know.

If you follow this blog or my facebook then I'm sure you've read some of the drama and bullshit that my brothers and my self have dealt with with this man.

You see the man that at 15 married my mom and took on the job of raisin a 2 week old child that wasn't his, has let his wife turn him against his kids and grand kids.

All my life he was my hero, my confidant and my best friend, until he divorced my mother after 30 years of marriage and married the thing he met online. Yet even then I tried soooooooo hard for so long to like her, to respect her as my dads wife etc and all she managed to do was drive a wedge between me and my brothers and me and my mom. Though I didn't see it at that time. They moved from here to Rhode Island and that's when finally much to my families relief I began to see the things that they'd been seein for years. I tool 2 weeks off to help them move across country , only to get on the plane to come home , cryin so hard I was ill cause I was leavin my daddy. What do they do, they call my mom and my brothers and accuse me of stealin over 2000 dollars from them. I came home and had to borrow money for gas for work that first week but I'd supposedly got on the plane with 2000 dollars of theirs. I was completely and utterly devastated but my eyes were finally wide open and it's only gone on from there.

So today he arrives in town apparently , I wasn't informed he was comin. He's made no attempt to contact me or my children. He spent an hour with my oldest brothers children, met my younger brother for coffee and broke his heart though Brian shall never admit such a thing. Brian says he spent the whole time whinin about how we don't love him and he doesn't feel welcome anywhere and he knows She isn't welcome any where.

The Cunt isn't welcome any where, she has done nothin but brain wash my dad ( who had very serious health issues ) til he isn't nothin but a pity party whinnin shell of a man

He's not the man I thought he was, maybe he never was, maybe it was all just a lil girl's fantasy of bein Daddy's lil girl :(

I don't really expect to see him as we've fought often ... over his wife, over his beliefs on how I live my life, over his beliefs in what I allow my children to do and not do and on and on and on

I wish I could say I loved him but truly these days I'm not sure that I can.... the woulds no longer heal, they only leave deep permanent scars..

Obviously I suppose is some kind of emotion left or I wouldn't feel the need to write tonight but I'm not sure love is on the equation any longer...

You see the last big blow up we had, he ended by emailin me that I wasn't his daughter, I never had been and I was just a bastard child that he was forced to raise.........

How do you ever in life forgive that ????????

I don't think I can .........