Today I sit here knowin I should be in bed but unable to sleep as once again the drama that is my life is runnin wild through my mind and keepin me from unwindin.......
You see the drama with my dad and the cunt he's married to continues, why this time i have no idea. Totally out of the blue and so unexpected, but regardless it's here again and I've reached my breakin point. I refuse to continue to play childhood school yard games. So I've made what must be the hardest decision of my life and decided to cut them from my life.
I can't do it anymore. I'm tired of cryin, I'm tired of bein attacked, I'm tired of him allowin such behavior from his cunt. There comes a time in life when your kids' opinions no longer matter and you must live your own life and you know what that's ok. I was ok not likin her and her not likin me but I'm not ok with outright attacks on me and my kids and him allowin it. My kids and mate not necessarily likin each other ok that's kewl......... him attackin my kids in anyway or disrespectin them in any manner oh FUCK NO. Not now not ever. Yet he continues to allow her to do just that to me and his grnadkids. Then try to drag others and their families into it , it's unnecessary and uncalled for ....... and I'm done. Emotionally I can't take it any longer. I've cried til I'm sick on more than one occasion over it now and then yesterday we start again. So at this point in my life it's the best decision for me and my kids I believe. God knows I could be wrong only time will tell.
However Dad should you see this KNOW beyond a doubt I love you and will always be your "little girl" but as she can't seem to accept me as part of your life I must do this for my own emotional well bein. I can't handle the emotional stress anymore......
I don't deserve it and I won't take it any longer... I can't. I refuse to apologize for anythin I've done or said as I'm not sorry. I'm only sorry that's it's come to this ......
Mom, My Chumps, John and all the rest that have stood by me and supported me and been there and listened to me and dealt with my tears and my uncertainty in what to do, my ventin etc........ thank you all I don't know how I'd get though this without you.
Dad , I love you now, forever and always
Shell
The Ramblins of a Crazy Girl..... I blog about my kids, my family and friends and just my life in general. The good, the bad and the ugly. I ramble and cry and laugh as I write and hope you as my followers do at times as well..... *HUGS*
No comments:
Post a Comment