Choices---Oct. 20,2008

I guess I've always known life is all about the choices you make but recently it's been in my thoughts alot. It seems everyday I hear someone somewhere complaining about something. Life , work, kids their husband... And I'm guilty of the same. However I made the choices I have in my life and just as I made those choice I can chose to make the best of the life God has given me with my family and friends or ; I can spend all my time complaining about it. I regret many things I've done and choices I've made but you know what Fuck it. I can't change them all I can do is move ahead and learn from those bad choices so I make better ones next time.

I've chosen to enjoy every precious moment God has given me on this earth , with Justin, my family and my friends. Life is here and gone all to quickly and I don't wanna wake up one day unable to change the things I wished I'd done. To tell those that matter to me how very much I love them and how very special they are to me.

I recently got a letter my grandmother had written to me before she passed away and in that letter she told me how proud she was of me , how much she loved me ect. My question is why ?????? Why in a letter to me after shes gone from this world. Why not call me and tell me all those things. I would have given anything to have heard them from her while she was still here.

For the first time in over 2 years I got a b-day card from my step dad today. Over a week late but what the hell. I got one finally but again why ???? Why now and not years prior?????

I'm not perfect and I fuck up, often. But I pray to God everyday that I've made it clear to those I love that they matter to me. Everyday and in every breath I take they are my world, my life, my reason for being on this earth.

I love you All

Justin, Mom, Punk, My Chumps, Brian, Jackie, Corrie, Missy all my neices and nephews. My extended family and my friends. My Breakfast Club...... You are all what makes me whole and even though I don't see some of you often, I hope you know that you're part of my heart and soul and always in my thoughts and prayers.