Steve---July 30, 2009

I told myself this year was gonna be different..I wasn't goin to sit here and cry all day and to that extint I guess it has been differnet ...I haven't cried all day ...just now
It's so hard and the day has been in my mind all day long but I've tried to push it away to not focus on it so much but damn it..........
It still hurts as much today as it did 3 years ago as I said good bye for the last time............
Again this year so much has happened......
Brittany graduated High School with high honors...Brian was inducted into the National Honor Society..Chris received a Leadership award. I've ended one relationship and am trully enjoying just dating at the moment.
But damn it ....you was taken much to soon. Seems I had barely gotten to know you and you were gone.The kids still talk about you often and I hope they always will..I hope to hear them telling their kids of their grandpa Steve one day.
I don't even know what I want to say tonight just that it hurts soioooooooooo  much. They tell me it gets easier with time and it has to some degree but when I think about it it hurts every bit as much now as it did when I said goodbye. I still wonder if I did the right thing in asking the drs. to turn off the machines .......I knoew you didn't want them and the drs. had said they could do no more..........but still I wonder at times........
I'm working tonight and tried to sleep and stay busy through out the day and it has helped  but tonight as I sit here alone with my thoughts it's back and fore most in my mind ....
I miss you dad ....
I Love you........

Life is a Journey not a Destination!!!!